Oh dear.

NaNoWriMo is NaNoWriNoMore, as my word count has slipped behind to an unrecoverable level.

Last weekend, it was looking tough, but after being out until late on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday of last week, and then a weekend where writing really took a back-seat, the chance of me reaching 50,000 by the end of the month is non-existent.

I’m still going to try for as many words as possible by November 30th. But I’ve unsubscribed from the Facebook groups where fellow Nano-ers are bragging of their 22,000 words. It’s too de-motivating when you are sitting there with just over 8000.

That’s the main problem with this competition. I’ve read articles where it’s said that there’s no competitive element, and that no matter whether you ‘win’ or not (i.e. write 50000 words by Nov 30th), it doesn’t matter because you have written something!

Whether that’s true or not, by definition, if you are not a ‘winner’ on November 30th, then you are a ‘loser’, and no amount of wishy-washy appeasement will convince me otherwise. As soon as you realise that, then the motivation subsides, and no amount of pep talks can help.

But then, I’m forgetting the aim of the event, which is to write 50,000 words. Not to write 50,000 good words. Not to write a novel that’s exciting, engaging and worthy. Just to write 50,000 words of fiction which, if it’s shite, still wins the game.

Which is where I fall down. Because I can’t write 2000 words – shite or otherwise – every day. I can do it for one day, maybe. Probably even two in a row. But the need to edit and review as I write is too strong for me to let that go. I don’t want a shite novel at the end of a month of slogging away at a keyboard, which is what I would produce if I wrote to target. I want a novel that I can be proud of as soon as it’s finished, and that I can spend time moulding into a great novel without having to address huge shortfalls in quality.

So, good luck to everyone who’s still ‘in’. And kudos to those who are managing the target after a full day at work. You are obviously destined for Barbara Cartland levels of success.

I’ll plod on, writing my average 800 words a day, with a revised aim of finishing by Christmas. NaNo has taught me a lot, and there’s no denying it’s a useful tool to get people writing. But 50,000 words in a month? Not this year.