Archive for March, 2008

Van Gogh should consider himself lucky…

Last weekend, I uploaded show number 36 of Clever Little Pod, together with a new addition to the CLP ‘brand’ – a PDF comedy magazine. The reason for the magazine was to see if I could raise some money from the podcast without going down the Cafepress route of selling T-shirts, caps and mugs. I figured that if people already enjoyed the podcast, then they might be willing to pay a pound to access some extra material with a similar flavour that could be forwarded to friends and printed off for colleagues.

If it was going to work, I figured I would know pretty quickly as the majority of podcast downloads happens during the first 7 days after the initial upload – and as the mag is promoted heavily on the podcast, then it would soon become apparent whether listeners would go for it or not.

Also over the past week, the mag has been plugged on a few blogs by friends of the show, for which I’m very grateful.

My expectations for the project were very low – I know how difficult it is to get people to buy products on the net, especially relating to comedy content, as there is so much free stuff out there already. But I figured it was worth a go anyway, especially as the whole process of putting the mag together was so enjoyable.

I sent out some preview copies just to make sure I wasn’t asking people to buy a total dud, and received some positive comments back – enough to give me confidence to go ahead. One respondent warned me of the difficulty of the challenge ahead – that I was essentially travelling in the wrong direction by charging a fee for content in a world that now expects everything to be free.

He was right. In the week since it launched, with hundreds of editions of CLP downloaded, and countless views of the blogs that very kindly plugged it, not one copy has been sold.

Not one.

Yes, I’m disappointed. Yes, I half expected it. And yes, I feel a little embarrassed that not a single copy has been sold. But there’s some comfort in this quote from David Baird’s ‘Thousand Paths to Creativity’ :-

“Nothing encourages creativity more than the opportunity it provides to fall flat on one’s face.”

It also provides a chance to analyse why it is so difficult to monetise content on the net. A pound – let’s face it – isn’t a lot of money. So here are a few possibilities:

1) The product wasn’t seen to be of sufficient value.
2) People didn’t know enough about what they were paying for.
3) People didn’t trust the buying process.
4) People weren’t interested in the different format.
5) People weren’t at their PC when listening to the podcast.
6) People didn’t want to pay any amount – whether it was 1p or £1.
7) The expectation of getting something for free was too strong to overcome.

I suspect it’s a combination of all of the above.

So, what now? How DO I capitalise on the existing popularity – such that it is – of a show that’s been sustained for two and a half years?

Maybe attempting to extract pound coins from listeners was a slightly vulgar strategy to benefit from the show. The alternative strategy is to play the slow game and use the bank of material to sell my abilities as a writer-performer. But to whom? Radio stations? Publishers? I think this the point I’ve reached. After two and a half years, I feel it’s time to start exploiting the content that now exists – which was the purpose of gazuky.net – but I feel I’m lacking a coherent strategy.

I’ve always been crap at selling my own abilities. So where do I go from here? Do I continue to attempt my own projects in a persistent, stubborn sort of Clive Sinclair way? Or do you think that something of value is only going to happen if I successfully sell my abilities into the mainstream? The key question is then – mainstream what? Unlike Van Gogh, I’m all ears…

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Carry On Again

There is to be a new Carry On film by the end of the year according to a report on the BBC News Website: here

It sounds like a fun film. With the state of the country as it is, I think it’s the right time for us all to be cheered up by simple, bawdy humour. There’s a general trend for comedy to be ‘clever’ at the moment, when what we really need is some good honest silliness. ‘The Goodies’ is a good example of the type of stuff I mean – silly gags with big laughs, well-written, that doesn’t patronise the audience. ‘The Muppet Show’ is another example.

The new Carry On will, it’s said, have some cameos too. Let’s hope we get a Babs Windsor laugh in there somewhere…

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Tragic Death

I don’t need to add anything to this:

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Showcase Cinemas – anything but!

I went to see the movie ‘Jumper’ today at my local Showcase Cinema. The movie was OK – a good idea, but the story could have been better – and some clunky CGI, although only once or twice. Six out of ten overall.

I go to the Showcase Cinema because it’s the closest one to me (within walking distance) and a bit cheaper than the 30-screen monster at Star City. It was Showcase Cinemas that kick-started the multiplex trend in the UK; I remember visiting one of the earliest ones in Peterborough and thinking how modern and exciting it was.

But people now expect a lot more from their cinema-going experience, and while multiplex chains like Vue are offering comfortable tiered seating, bags of leg-room and extras such as cup-holders and high-backed seats, Showcase have not changed a thing since they launched their product in the late 80s.

Even their on-screen branding is shameful. If you’ve been to a Showcase, you’ll know the familiar dated neon-styled sequences on the start-up reel that ask you not to talk and remind you how to get to the car-parks easily. They don’t seem to have changed since 1987. And even worse, they’re obviously identical to the ones used in their US cinemas – with requests to ‘Please Deposit Trash’.

What’s more, the seats are squeaky and uncomfortable, the floor is sticky, and the food is massively over-priced. The whole experience screams ‘rip-off’ at every turn.

Clearly, Showcase aren’t that bothered about investing in their UK operation. I suspect it’s seen as a cash-cow to be milked for investment in the US, but any graduate of business studies will tell you that that’s not the way to attract and keep customers. Sooner or later, people are going to catch on to the fact that other companies are doing it so much better.

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Rhetoric, rhetoric, rhetoric.

As I write, Gordon Brown is live on Sky News from just down the road here in Birmingham. I can’t really hear him that well as it’s on a low volume, but I’m reading the captions that Sky News are putting up, and catching the odd word.

To be honest, I don’t really want to listen.

I can honestly say that no political leader’s words have ever rung so hollow as our current PM’s. I’m sick of hearing meaningless rhetoric from a Prime Minister who claims to be helping this country, but chooses to ignore the issues that are arising from his government’s policies.

My main problem with this government is that it claims to be a government of the people, but is actually the government of big business. Privatisation of the NHS by the back door, the constant pandering to utility companies while pensioners go without food to pay rocketing fuel bills, ever-more authoritarian solutions to social problems without addressing the core issues of deprivation and community cohesion, and incompetence on a massive scale.

Everyone you speak to can’t believe how high the cost of living is these days. Families survive in debt traps, young people can’t afford to buy their own homes, and everyone is stressed out because they are doing two people’s jobs for one salary because of the pressure on businesses to reduce costs to the bone like never before.

For fuck’s sake. Sorry – I’m listening to Gordon approaching the end of his speech. I’m convinced that at any moment, he’s going to say ‘I have a dream…”

Ha! – he ended with ‘the Britain of our dreams’ – so I wasn’t far off.

I used to be a Labour voter until I realised shortly after Blair’s second victory (yes, it took that long) that they were all talk and no substance. The Lib Dems are useless (or at least they were under Menzies Campbell – I remain to be convinced by Nick Clegg) and I don’t care whether Cameron supported the abolition of Section 28 or not, I will never, ever vote Tory.

So that leaves *a certain party whose name I’ve just edited out because this blog was appearing in searches for their name*, the Greens (who never put up a candidate in my constituency) or one of the UKIP/Respect-type parties who never quite seem to get their act together.

I think maybe for the next election I’ll take some coloured pencils into the voting booth and create a piece of art. Then at least something constructive will have been produced by the political process.

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